08.28.08

The Divorce Court System – Fair ??? Part III

Posted in Single Parents at 9:07 pm by Administrator

In our last few blogs you got to hear some of my horror stories, as well as another Dad that I coach. Now that you have had the pleasure of hearing what has happened to some of the Dad’s I believe it is time to give the Moms a chance. After all, this amazing tales are not unique to just Dads! So this week you can hear some of these remarkable stories. There will still be no names so the innocent are always protected.

These stories have definitely been raising eye brows and it boggles my mind that other Single Parents have gone through the same or similar “trials” – excuse the pun. Unfortunately these stories happen all to often. So let’s share two more of a Moms woes.

The first “horror” story of this blog, takes place in a state we like to call California, because everyone else calls it that. A friend of mine is currently battling the court system to get her children back. You see, her ex, who by the way has been found to be abusive by the same court system, got mad at her and filed an abuse charge. Child Welfare swooped in and took the kids to protect them.

So what do they do – of course, they give them to the Dad! Now that makes perfect sense (sarcasm there!). When she went to talk with the person in charge she was told they can’t talk to her because she is the “abusive Mom”. So unverified charges keep the parent and children separated until they “get around” to investigating it.

Now I do not have a problem in protecting our children BUT do we do it by putting them in harms way? Do we do it by taking weeks or months, sometimes years to make a finding?

I remember a case in Florida where these two children were playing on the playground and fell. The parents took them to the doctor who treated them and the next day they went to school. You probably can guess where this is going!!

The school noticed the bruises and reported it to Child Welfare. They came charging in and took the children from their parents. The parents went to their doctor and he wrote a note that this was not abuse but the children had fallen while playing.

It only took over a YEAR to get their children back. During this time they where allowed one visit a week with their children … supervised and for only one hour! Now how assenine is our system? I say “our” system because we do not speak out enough!! We as Single Parents have a huge voice to be reckoned with, when united!

Watch in the near future for an announcement of something VERY BIG we are doing to address this and other Single Parent issues!!

The next tale is about a young lady who tried to do the right thing and got burned by the judicial system in all it’s glory! She had custody of her son and when she lost her job and was having a hard time making ends meet, she approached her ex, who lived near by.

She asked if she could let their son live with him while she got back on her feet. Now that does sound like a level headed decision – one where the child comes first.

After getting a new job and then a new apartment she asked for her son back and the answer was NO!

So what do most people do – immediately rush to court to have a neutral 3rd party make a “fair” decision. Not only did the court side with the father but based the decision on faulty information. You see the witnesses that she had that came up to testify where accused of all types of unsubstantiated things. The ex’s lawyer made up stories and blatantly lied. Now, of course the court would definitely check out the two sides of the story to see who was telling the truth and who was lying – right?

Nah, why bother. After all – it is just a few lives. The court kept custody with the Father because they said the Mother had no family nearby. She only had almost her entire family within 20 miles of her.

Then it gets even better – for the Dad! The Mom runs out of money and can no longer fight AND the judge allows the Father to move with the child over 1,000 miles away! So much for the value of keeping families together for the best interest of the child.

In our next blog I will wrap all this up into a neat little package.

Until then, remember you are the best parent you can be in that moment!!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping reconnect Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

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