The Divorce Court System - Fair ?? - Part I

As I write this I do not believe I will make too many people in the legal profession happy. Oh, well.

A few recent events have triggered my memory and I have been remembering my experiences with the court system in New York, or should I say the nightmares.

I remember how naive I was thinking that the court would be fair and impartial. I had this false sense of hope that they would look after, if nothing else, the health and welfare of my son. Boy was I in for a rude awakening!!

I remember returning on a yearly basis to court for the smallest of reasons on my ex’s side. She moved to another apartment in the same building, she moved a block away, etc. While these endeavors cost me a fortune, she was represented by legal aide.

I remember my bringing up the issue of smoking based on the court report because my son was asthmatic. The court investigator went to visit my ex and found her with her highly asthmatic daughter on her lap with both my ex and her boyfriend smoking. The report said that the ash trays where overflowing with cigarette butts. The judge told me when I brought this up that “she is the Mother and she knows what is best for her son!”

Then we began the 2nd round in court. The appointed “neutral” law guardian was sitting with my ex telling her how she should go about getting custody of my son. Then when the law guardian visited the house she spent no more then 30 seconds talking with my son and left.

When we went to court the law guardian said that my son was not in a good environment and did not have support at my place and that his Mother should get custody. The law guardian said that John had no one but me and my ex had her family. That was weird since my parents watched John when I was away and my brother and sister and their family lived in the same town!

The scariest part for me was the total disregard for my son’s safety. The court performed a background check on my ex’s boyfriend and found nothing. I had a friend do the same check and she found out that her boyfriend had an order of protection barring him from seeing his own kids from a previous marriage. The judge said that this was irrelevant because it was older and put no restrictions on the visit.

When I appealed the decision, the appellate court judge said that the lower court did not send the needed documents and since it was a temporary order they would let the lower court decision stand. The judge said that if I refused to let John go upstate with his Mom and her boyfriend I would be in contempt of court!

Who is watching over our kids!?

Stay tuned for the next blog! This was just some of my experiences.

I would like to hear of some of the experiences you have had. Please use the comment box below.

Until next time! Remember you are the best parent you can be in that moment!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - “Helping Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” - Albert Einstein