In this post I wanted to share something that a friend shared with me a long time ago and was one of the poems I constantly referred to for guidance and as a reminder to how my actions influence my son. This was written for all parents and I believe it is very pertinent for Single Parents. It does not have an author’s name so I do not know who to credit with it. So if you know who the author is, I would appreciate your sharing that with us.
The role models your kids have to choose from these days are not always the best with all the hard core music about violence being played, the professional athletes being arrested, the big name actors overdosing, etc. The one consistent in all this is you, the Single Parent, and you are the one your kids will model the most - in one way or another, like it or not!
We, the parent, will tell our kids to “do what I say, not what I do” when we are doing something we know we shouldn’t. Then we wonder why the opposite happens when our kids do what we told them not to and take these disempowering actions. As two example, while in the process of smoking we explain to our kids why smoking is bad for them and then we can’t understand why they start smoking or we are constantly yelling at our kids and then can’t understand why they are always yelling.
We Single Parents have so much extra stress and other challenges in our lives that we sometimes lose site of how that affects our kids. Our kids are watching us and we are teaching them through our actions on how they should act.
On the other side of this equation, when we are aware and set good examples, then our kids benefit and model these empowering actions. For example, if we are genuine with our kids and supportive, then they will model confidence. We do have a choice in who we mold our kids to be.
So here is the poem and I trust you will enjoy it and that it will make you think and will help guide you through your journey with your kids as it did for me.
“Children Learn What They Live”
If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilt
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate
If children live with fairness,
They learn justice
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves
If children live with acceptance and friendship,
They learn to find love in the world.
I welcome your comments and suggestions and thank you for your support in our community.
Have an amazing day and remember we do the best that we can at that moment in time!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. - “Helping Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” - Albert Einstein
6 comments ↓
Hey Ron,
Your words are so true, and so hard to read. I love that poem. If I could only “live it” more. It is truly a road map to raising a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child.
Ron great posts my friend.
Once grown our ways of thinking and responding to situations are pretty much trained into us and so many times we have been trained to think wrongly and this leads to having great difficulty in our lives to acheive the greatness we are meant to acheive.
I thank you for your blog…it is really something that can help a lot of people. Keep posting tons of great content so that you can generate tons of traffic that needs to come and read yor posts.
Jeff Wellman
http://www.jeffreywellman.com/blog
Ron,
Your insight is compassionate and thoughtful. The reason we are in this world is to “BE” not “DO”.
Just by being who we are, we affect the world around us.
Society is now dedicated to doing and we are told we just need to do more to be successful at whatever we are attempting to do.
In reality, we only need BE in the moment and all else will manifest how it is meant to.
This is something I keep reminding myself of when I feel the need to multitask.
Your messages are inspiring, keep up the good work. The world needs your brand of acceptance and guidance.
Love and Light
Mary Grace
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com
Great work Dilbert. You are called for a sacred mission of helping special families. It is sacred and special mission you hold in your heart and hands.
More Power To Your Cause.
The First time I encountered the poem I had it framed. I brought it home to my native place, paid the equivalent of $10 to translate it in the our dialect and maintaining the poem format My dad when he saw it copied the native poem in his handwriting 13x and framed each copy in glass and gave one to each of all the 13 children. I was not married yet when I received that special gift. Many of my siblings have this gift hanging in their homes. Losing my copy is one my great regrets in ife.
But a copy of this poem layed out in a nice print out was my first ever item I ordered in the internet in the early 1990’s from Linda Vernon inc. I had the poem framed again and it now hanging in our dining hall where I pass my everyday. That is how significant this poem is to me and how it is part of our family history and tradition. My Dad thought it was one of the greeatest wisdom ever written about parenting and family life. I agree fully with my Dad completely. It holds many of the answers to my WHY.
My business is about parenting as well this is one of the first contents I discuss in my foundational material. With this already in your blog I would like to invite you later to share about this either in my discussion forums or virtual classroom. Would that be okay with you?
Live Life To The Fullest Today in GCD,
Marina
(In Gratitude, Clarity & Dedication)
====== on the side note =========
I concur with one of the ladies, I was unble to read at all any of your articles for a long time until my customized reading glasses arrived few days ago.
My son who reads my email and blogs for me told me that there is content on your site like the poem on our wall. I had been meaning to write to added this comment but was unable to until now.
I was given this poem after I had my first daughter. I was one semester away from graduating college with my masters degree and people were trying to convince me to drop out of school, that it would be better for me to stay at home. My mother, the most amazing woman I know, didn’t need to say a word. She simply gave me this framed poem and I knew that I had to set a better example for my child. Since then, I have had a second child, was told by my husband that I was no longer loved or wanted(so I’m in the process of a divorce) and I have returned to school seeking my masters.
Life might not always be perfect or easy and there will always be bumps in the road, but it is how we handle those unexpected moments that truly dictate our future. I want my children to know that no matter where their lives take them, they can accomplish anything.
According to several websites this poem was written by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D., but I haven’t been able to track down any additional information on her.
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