03.26.08
Posted in Single Parents at 3:34 am by Administrator
In our last blog, we spoke about the way we think as Single Parents and how that affects our stress and anxiety, as we discussed the tooth extraction I had.
Imagine what life would be like if whenever we had constant, consistent pain in our lives that we could just extract the source of it and thus remove it from our life and it would be gone. We would know that the discomfort would only be temporary before we removed it. Sounds like this could be like some separations and divorces.
What do I mean by this? That is a good question! I have seen and heard of so many divorces becoming bitter with anger and resentment freely flowing back and forth. Where couples who once loved each other are ready to get in a whatever it takes to get the other mentality. Where emotions completely take over and there no longer is any rationale. When we get in this state we forget common sense and get so caught up in this process that we forget everything else – including what is best for our kids and what is best for us! The courts do not help either as they pit one party against another – very confrontational from the get go.
So I know what you are asking – when does the extraction part come into play? I was just thinking that myself! Well, this is the hard part (at least in the beginning). This is where the word forgiveness comes into play. How do we move forward in our lives? By looking back into the past? By being angry at your ex? By trying to sabotage their life? So let me ask you this question – if you are focusing on your ex, who is focusing on your kids and your future. Like a tooth extraction when you release the pain with the tooth, you need to release the divorce and that whole story that goes with it just like the tooth. You need to forgive and start placing the focus where it belongs – on you and your kids making a great life for yourselves.
There are many ways and techniques to do this. I believe one way is that you use your past challenges as ways to learn and that you cannot carry these challenges with you because then they only hold you back. You learn the lesson or lessons you needed to learn and then you release that challenge/issue/mistake or whatever you wish to call it. In this way you no longer have a ball and a chain on your ankle holding you back but instead open road ahead to go full speed forward. This is the exciting part – where you determine the roads you turn onto through the decisions you make. You now get to move forward toward your goals and help your kids do the same.
So this is all for now with the tooth extraction and the lesson of forgiving to move forward. This is really all about you taking control of your life and where you want it to go. So here is to you – the Single Parent that always does the best you can at each moment in time, because you really do. Until next time have quality time as family and please comment and let us know what you are thinking!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Families Grow”
www.SingleParentPower.com
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
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03.20.08
Posted in Single Parents at 4:52 pm by Administrator
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Posted in Single Parents at 4:36 pm by Administrator
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Posted in Single Parents at 7:17 am by Administrator
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Welcome to Single Parent Power
Single Parent Power is all about guiding and empowering Single Parents and their Children to live a more productive, fulfilling and rewarding life.
You can visit our blog for some great resources and writing on being a single parent. Also check out our upcoming events to come and learn and grow with other single parents. If you would like to know more about who we are here at Single Parent Power check out our about page.
Remember, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein.
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03.16.08
Posted in Single Parents at 9:53 pm by Administrator
Just had one of “those” days and ended with an aha moment! So I would like to share. I have been having headaches and trying to figure out why. Finally I ended up at the dentist and found out that my previous root canal had “gone bad” – whatever that means, and on top of that I had an infection under that tooth. So guess what I had to do – get it extracted (for those of you who have been lucky enough to never have gone through it – that means to get it pulled).
Now I had never had adult teeth pulled and I had 2 full days to think about it before the actual event. My mind started racing and thinking about all the worst case scenarios and all the pain I was going to be in, which of course got me even more stressed and anxious! . Then I got to thinking about how this ties into being a Single Parent! As a Single Parent (or any parent for that matter) we have a tendency to think worst case scenario and drive ourselves crazy. When our kids are not home on time instead of thinking to ourselves that maybe they got tied up, we think about all the horrible things that could of happened – car accident, drunk, left in the middle of no where. And yes, this is our mind driving us bonkers. When they walk in the door and we find out that they had to jump start the car and that was why they where late – then after that feeling of relief we want to ground them for life. Mark Twain once said, “I’m an old man and I have had many troubles, most of which never happened!”
The bottom line – the anxiety before was causing me more pain then the actual event. Yes it was uncomfortable and not something I would want to do often, if ever again – but no where near as bad as I had been thinking. Our minds are powerful tools and like tools if used the wrong way can be dangerous. When we let our mind wander and cause excess stress or dissuade us from doing something we want to do – our mind is controlling us and not the other way around. So lets watch what we say to ourselves and be positive and keep ourselves calm. As Single Parents our kids are watching and if we show them how we handle situations and stay calm when our mind is going though all the possible horrors then we will also be teaching them how to be positive with their self talk.
I look forward to your comments and experiences.
Until next time – You are the best parent you can be right now!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Families Grow”
www.SingleParentPower.com
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
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03.05.08
Posted in Single Parents at 3:41 pm by Administrator
I read an interesting quote today that got me thinking – Is our happiness inside or out? I know what you are asking “What the heck does he mean by that?” Well, is our happiness created by what happens around us or is it created by what we think inside us? I know – what came first, the chicken or the egg? Well first, let’s begin with the quote: “Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”, William Feather, 1889-1981, Writer.
How many of us, especially as Single Parents, get so caught up in every day life that we forget to take that moment to listen to what our kids have to share or that beautiful sunset on the way home. We have our kids in front of us every day and before you know it, they are off to college or out of the house and you ask how the time went so fast and you reflect on how much you missed of them growing up. Just like the song – “The Cats In The Cradle”, where the father never has time for his son until the son is grown up and has his own family and does not have time for the Dad.
I feel that life offers us so many opportunities at happiness each day but like a majority of us, we focus on all the bad things that happened during the day – Johnny spilled his milk all over the carpet and I was late for work and the work keeps piling up and I have to clean when I get home and before I realize it the kids are in bed and I hardly saw them and … What would happen if we slowed down enough to spend a half hour with our kids sharing what new and exiting things happened during the day or made time to watch a sunset with someone special or took time to look around at the color in the leaves as they change or what ever makes you smile. What would happen if we chose to not let what someone else does to us affect how we spend our day? Research shows that children laugh over 300 times a day whereas adults laugh only 15 times. They say this is because children laugh unconditionally while adults do so only if there is a cause. Think about that – how much happier are our kids then we are and why is that? Could it be because we choose to be “adults” who are expected to be serious all the time or can we choose to have some fun just because we want to. What is the first thing usually said when someone is having fun? “Stop fooling around and get to work!” Do we have to listen to societal pressures that say we have to act a certain way or can we give ourselves permission to act freely! Don’t we sometimes hear ourselves saying that to us? Can we just have fun for the sake of having fun? Can we be a “child” for a while and go make snow angels, stick our tongue out at someone or just laugh. Sure people might back away from you or role up there windows when they see you – but who is the one who is stressed and who is the one enjoying that moment of our life.
According to the U.S. Government, “97 % of all illnesses in the United States can be tied to stress.” As Single Parents, can we afford to be away from our kids as a result of an avoidable stress related illness? As Single Parents don’t we want to take control of our life and avoid illnesses? Can taking a small portion of your day to just have fun be such a price to ask? Isn’t spending that little extra time being silly with your kids and making memories before they are out of the house worth it?
I would really like to hear your thoughts. Please comment usig the Comment link below.
Until next time, remember to always be the parent you want to be! The best you canbe in that moment of time!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Families Grow”
www.SingleParentPower.com
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
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