Entries from November 2007 ↓

In this blog we are going to deviate from our current topic and talk about something that happened today. I was on the way to an appointment and I noticed a Dad on the sidewalk with his son, who was in a stroller. As I stopped at the red light I looked over and watched the interaction between the Dad and the little boy, which got me to thinking. What a great Dad or is he a great Parent or both? What is the difference between someone who is a Mom or a Dad and someone who is a Parent or is there a difference? This is an area that touches close to home with me because of my ex and her relationship with my son.
So what did I see that got me to thinking? I am glad you asked! The weather has not been the best - windy and about 48 degrees out. The little boy was obviously cold so I watched the Dad take off his coat to cover him, with disregard for how cold he would get, and then he knelt down and started rubbing and blowing on his son’s hands to warm them up. Interesting - have any of you ever seen something like this? How about the other way - the Mom or Dad did “what they could” but made sure that they stayed warm? They would not even think about giving up their own coat. So you are probably beginning to see some differences here. Maybe?
You see, a lot of people use these terms interchangeably and I am not sure that interchangeability goes both ways. Well before you ask, let me tell you what I mean by that. I can see a Parent being a good Mom or Dad but a Mom or Dad who is indifferent or is not a part of their child’s life does not make them a Parent! I got to thinking about my ex and the difference in out parenting styles. Then I thought about the many Moms and Dads I have seen over the years and the differences with the interaction they had with their kids, especially the Single Parents.

So what do I consider the definition of a Mother or Father? Well let’s look at the good old Webster’s Dictionary and their definition: The verb mother is defined as “To give birth to” and the verb Father is defined as “a man who has begotten a child“. So just because you gave birth to a child or had created a child does not make you a Parent, just their biological Mom or Dad. Have you ever heard someone say, “Yes that is the Mother or Father of my child but they never or rarely see them or they are not a part of their life.”? You can ask any Parent who is raising a child by themselves with the Mother or Father out of the picture - who is the Parent of that child? Ask the child who is adopted who their Parents are. The Parent is defined in Websters as “a person who brings up and cares for another“. So in my opinion, the Parent is the one who puts the child’s welfare in front of their own! The one who is willing to be cold to keep their child warm. The one who gives up their coat so their child does not suffer. Where as the person who was responsible for the birth of the child might not even care or be around for that child but is their Mom or Dad.

So the Mother or Father who is not a Parent is just someone involved with the creation of a child, but when tied to also being a Parent means the World of difference to both. Tell the child whose Moms or Dads are not there for their birthdays, the important moments in their lives and for Mother’s and Father’s Day at school celebrations. I bet these people can define the difference! You notice on Birth Certificates that there are spaces for Mother and Father but none for Parent!
So all you Single Parents out their - let us strive to be that special someone; that Parent and the one who has created and continues to create that special connection and bond with our children - regardless of the Mom or Dad who is not their or does not care!
So let’s hear what your thoughts are on this! Have any of you experienced this - one way or the other? I would love to hear from you, as I am sure everyone else would too! All you Single Parents - inquiring minds want to know what you feel!
Until next time…

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