Entries from October 2007 ↓

So we left off last week with John going through security and all the feelings that where rushing through my body. So let’s pick up with the call from John saying that the flight was being delayed 2 hours out of NY and when I called the airline they assured me who would make his connecting flight. When I received the call from L.A. it was John saying that the flight had already left. He said that that was the last flight out to Brisbane until tomorrow and that they were going to put him on a flight to Sydney to connect to a flight to Brisbane. So he left 2 hours later on the flight to Sydney. When John got to Sydney, since he was entering the country, he had to go through Customs. When he asked where the connecting flight to Brisbane was, he was told that this is the International terminal so he would need to get a shuttle to the Domestic terminal. Once at the Domestic terminal, since he was now arriving at the airport, he of course had to go through Security. So by the time he got to the gate - the plane was gone. Another almost 2 hours later he was on the flight to Brisbane. Once he landed I received the call, which definitely put me more at ease, that he arrived. He said, “We really need to talk about this flying thing!”. At the airport his recruiter picked him up and made sure he got to the dorm OK, checked in and helped him get settled and buy the necessities he needed. The recruiter, Rob, helped me feel better about this whole situation.

Once home - that is when it all really sunk in! The overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loss. Each time I looked in his room I expected him to be their. Every time I did something we both used to do together I would get that hallow feeling inside - right in the pit of my stomach. Allowing him to go and spread his wings was very hard for me and I still have my moments. But you learn to deal and focus on yourself and others.

Now John is a pro at flying and has been their a year and a half. He has come home twice since his initial elongated (27 Hour) flight. I think it gets harder each time he leaves. Just when I get used to him being home and doing things with him, he leaves again. Dealing with the change is hard. Eighteen years of always being together and then - poof!

I am proud that he is doing well and allow him his freedom. We talk using the internet and he is making the most of his opportunity. He has learned to surf, has jumped from a plane 3 times and climbs up large cliffs, oh yea, he also is doing well in class and has made friends with people from all over the world.

So what are your thoughts as Single Parents on what you would do differently or the same. How would you handle the feelings of emptiness and change? Would you allow your son or daughter to go that far away and why? Let me hear your thoughts and feedback. Let’s share with each other and help each other out.

Until next time - Good parenting!

It all started with a seemingly straight forward objective - go to the college fair, pick out some colleges to visit and then pick the school to attend. Simple - right? You would think, but not in this case. We went to the college fair at the Nassau Coliseum and I sent my son and his friend Jared into where the college representatives where and I went to do the seminars on college aid, NCAA rules, etc. - everything a parent wanted to know about college and was afraid to ask. We agreed that we would meet back in the main hallway when we where done. The timing was perfect -as I came out of the last seminar, John and Jared came out of the college fair hall. John immediately said I know where I am going to school - Bond University in Australia! Out of over 300 hundred schools from the U.S. he finds the only one from Australia. After doing our duel diligence and discussing it at length, John decided that he wanted to go to a place he had never been and did not know anyone.He was very excited and stayed that way up until the actual time came to go through security at the airport. I kept asking myself if this was the right decision - but after all, isn’t our job to help our kids build the solid foundation and then set them free in the world to spread their wings and as the Navy says, “Be All That They Can Be!”? As soon as he walked through the security point I immediately felt the lump forming in my throat, the tears in my eyes and the sense that something was missing. After all, being a Single Parent, I raised him by myself for the last 18 years. It has always been he and I. My emotions where screaming through a barrage of feelings. I was very proud of him to follow his dreams and to do what he wanted, to get on that plane for a day and arrive at a place he had never been and to not know any one there. But I did help him build a great foundation and he has a good head on his shoulders. What if something happens - he is half way across the world. But he will make friends to help him and he has gone away before. This continued for a while - this internal debate. It still comes up from time to time.

Please let me know what you would have done and why? How about some suggestions on ways not to worry and any other input and suggestions you may have to help me through this process.

Stay tunes next week for John’s elongated trip and my elevated stress level!