05.31.10

Honoring the Special Men and Women this Memorial Day

Posted in Single Parents at 11:28 am by Administrator

This Memorial Day I would like to place in our thoughts and prayers, and honor all our brave service members who are currently in harm’s way, all those who have served and all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to allow us to enjoy the freedoms we enjoy every minute of every day!

“It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.” ~ Norman Schwarzkopf

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” ~ Joseph Campbell

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price,

bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty”. ~ John F. Kennedy

Today though, I want to highlight my hero this Memorial Day.  A serviceman who fought in World War II and became a part of that fraternal organization called the U.S. Army and did as soldiers do – they make sure they have each other’s back.

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.” ~ Thucydides

My special soldier is my Dad.  Being a trainer and a life coach who works with and helps military families; my drive and desire to give my all each and every day to the families I work with is directly related to my experiences with my Dad.  Seeing and knowing about what he endured as a paratrooper in the Pacific Field during WW II and with each of the three opportunities he had to return home, he instead chose to go back to his unit, his new family and to continue to fight alongside them.

“Better than honor and glory, and History’s iron pen,

Was the thought of duty done and the love of his fellow-men.” ~  Richard Watson Gilder

His sweetheart was supportive to him while he was away and gave him something extra to look forward to when he got home.  This wonderful lady has continued in that role for the over 60 years now since marrying my Dad.  I’ve seen firsthand what can happen when you have a great relationship!

“Heroism is latent in every human soul – However humble or unknown, they (the veterans) have renounced what are accounted pleasures and cheerfully undertaken all the self-denials – privations, toils, dangers, sufferings, sicknesses, mutilations, life-long hurts and losses, death itself – for some great good, dimly seen but dearly held.” ~ Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

With what our family members bring back with them from war – the horrible experiences, losses and post traumatic stress disorder, along with the additional challenges of transitioning into a setting back home that has changed.  To this day, my Dad cannot watch shows like the HBO mini-series “The Pacific”, even though it has been over 64 years since he came home. He talks very little about his experiences during the war and those are usually good memories of things he and his buddies did.

“The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

Yet, he and my Mom taught me, my siblings and my son so much about life and family.  They molded me as a parent – educating me by example of what a parent is to him/herself and to their children.  They never quit on us as parents and never, ever have they lost faith in us or in us pursuing our passions.  They tell each of us each time they speak with us and in those surprise letters (as you probably guessed they are not computer people and if they got a computer then they would have to learn email!).

“The greatest glory of a free-born people is to transmit that freedom to their children.” ~ William Havard

My Dad made sure that he made it home from the war and at the same time, always did what he needed to do to help make sure his buddies did too!  As parents, both he and my mom always had our backs.  I’m not talking about the type of parent who goes in to yell at the school every time little Tommy got in trouble and took no responsibility for Tommy. My parents held us accountable for our actions and they were always there when they felt we were wronged and were unable to remedy the situation ourselves.   The next day they would be up at the school having our back – and even today in their 80’s they still do whatever they can to have our backs.  Kinda nice knowing your parents are there for you.

Even today my Mom jokes about when I make it big I will have to treat her to the type of life she and my Dad expect – which I will do of course. Yet after joking around she will always say your Dad and I believe in you and know that you will be making a difference for many families throughout the military.  They know in their hearts and have the confidence in me that I can help change lives and assist the families in becoming closer.

I know of the many challenges my parents had to go through beginning with getting through a World War, through raising four children and through several major illnesses and remain loving, supportive and caring toward each other and each of us as a family. They have fought through all their challenges never losing their sense of purpose, sense of humor and their desire to help!

Spirit, that made those heroes dare

To die, and to leave their children free,

Bid time and Nature gently spare

The shaft we raise to them and thee.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As our service members deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan, return from deployments or during a deployment – ask these families what you can do to help support them through these most challenging of times.  Next time you see someone in uniform, I would ask you to think about what they may going through, get out of your comfort zone and go over and shake their hand thanking them for what they do for us and what they and their family sacrifice to do it!  I know – this is where someone says that they don’t believe we should be in Iraq or Afghanistan. My answer to that is if that is your belief than go contact your representatives and complain to them as often as you want! They are the ones who make those decisions.  However, do not take this out on our soldiers – they do not get the luxury of deciding where they go and who they fight.  What they do get to do is risk their lives daily because that is their job! They are in the military to defend our nation and to defend our rights and freedoms.

“They fell, but o’er their glorious grave

Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.” ~  Francis Marion Crawford

Thank you for taking action and doing something this Memorial Day that makes a difference for a service member and his/her family!

“The patriot’s blood is the seed of Freedom’s tree.” ~ Thomas Campbell

May G-d look over and protect our military and their families and help to guide them in making good decisions and in coming home safely!

I would like to also share that the Army Reserve unit I have been working with that has been deployed for last 15 months is returning home this Memorial Day!  I am excited for this group that has become part of my family and celebrating Memorial Day by coming home to theirs.

And I’m proud to be an American,

where at least I know I’m free,

and I won’t forget the men who died,

who gave that right to me

and I’ll proudly stand next to him

to defend her still today,

‘cuz there ain’t no doubt I love this land,

god bless the USA. ~ Lee Greenwood

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Operation Renewal, Inc. – “Helping Military Families Stay Connected”
www.OperationRenewal.org
Click to follow me on:   Twitter Facebook Linkedin

rdilbert@OperationRenewal.org
479-935-3986

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

12.08.09

Experience Needed?

Posted in Single Parents at 1:20 pm by Administrator

Good parents all over the world want to help their children to succeed and to help them get what they themselves lacked as a child. I am sure you have thought about what you did not have as a child or the things your parents could not give you.  Now that you are a parent you do not want your kids to go through the same experiences that you had to go through.

Who can blame you for wanting this?  After all, your job is to support your children and that includes “saving” them from the bad experiences you went through growing up, so they don’t have to! The lack of clothes, the lack of attention, the lack of food, the lack of toys, the lack of a TV, and the list goes on.  Each parent brings their own unique experiences to light here.

However, in our working to create the better environment for our children do we sometimes lose sight of the benefits that are provided by our experiences?  Even though your experiences growing up where not ideal, they may have been your driving force to get you where you are now. You may appreciate what you have now even more as a result of what you lacked as child.  Whatever your experience may be, take a look back and really examine where you are today and what role those experiences growing up play into who you are. Every experience, no matter how painful, has a lesson hidden in it.

What I have found is our parental instinct is to protect our children from anything that can hurt them, has the potential to hurt them or that can disappoint them.  However, where do you draw the line from what you must do to protect your children and what we choose to do, from your point of view, to protect them.

When is it advantageous to allow your kid to experience defeat, experience loss, experience not being able to have something? If the situation is not life threatening then should we stand back and allow our children to learn through experience? Do we not learn more from our experiences then from someone telling us? Do we not have to learn how to extract lessons from our experiences so we do not repeat them?

Henry Ford said, “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger… for the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grief’s we endure help us in our marching onward.”

Everyone continuously experiences events throughout the day.  If these are all protected experiences for your children then they never get the benefits of experiences that don’t go the way they want or the so called “negative” experiences and the lessons on how to deal with the results that don’t come as easily. How does this prepare them for life?  How does this teach them to benefit from experiences?

As Robert Packwood said, “Judgment comes from experience, and great judgment comes from bad experience.”

So the theme of this week is that as a parent you can be too protective and as a result deprive your children of one of the required tools to be successful in life!  With that said here is our quote of the week.

“Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves.” ~  Elbert Hubbard

So have a wonderful week of knowing that you are letting your children experience, learn and be motivated as a result!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
Operation Renewal, LLC – “Helping Military Families Stay Connected”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Click to follow me on:   Twitter Facebook Linkedin

rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
479-935-3986 – Arkansas Office
516-355-1552 – New York Office

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

11.25.09

What is Thanksgiving?

Posted in Single Parents at 6:28 pm by Administrator

Now is the time of year when we think of all the turkey we will be eating and the great desserts to follow. We make decisions on who will be hosting the celebration this year (if you are lucky enough to have family and friends to share with, the money to have a feast and the job to feel good about so you can spend that money).  What about the families who have none of these?  What about the struggling families?  If they do not have a big feast but celebrate what they do have and are together? Are they any less thankful?  Or maybe even more?  Something to think about.

This Thanksgiving gives us a reminder and an opportunity to step back and take inventory.  We in our society are so quick to look at what we don’t have, what other people do have or what we “should” have but don’t. In this economy with so many people in trouble financially, losing there homes and there life savings – it is even more important to look at the people who make a difference in our lives!

We become jealous of people who have more then us, who have the toys we want or have what is in vogue this year. Who is doing what and who is not.  How can we possibly be happy if we are always looking outward from our selves in order to feel fulfilled?

Thanksgiving is a reminder to each and every one of us – time to take account of what we do have! What do we really have in our lives to be grateful for?  What are we taking for granted and who?  When is the last time you said thank you to someone who has made or does make a difference in your life?  When is the last time you looked at what you do have and were thankful that you have it in your life?

I think all we really need to do is watch the news and see the starving children who have no food and are so thin you can see their ribs,as well as the rest of their bones!  How about the pictures of people after 9-11 who lost loved ones – spouses, parents and children!  Or the families of members in the military who will be spending this holiday season without their spouse / parent? How lucky are we to still have our family and friends in our lives! What good are material things when they become what defines who and what we are?

How often have you said to yourself if I only had this I would be happy?  Once this happens I will feel better?  How long have you been waiting to be happy and to feel better? When we are happy at where we are now, then anything else we receive is an added blessing.  When we live for things we don’t possess then we are creating our feelings and thoughts based on what is out of our control.

I am thankful for so many things in my life – my son, my family, my wife,my friends, what I do and the opportunity I have to help both Single Parent Families and Military Families, as well as so many more things I am grateful for!  What are you thankful for in your life – right now?

We at Single Parent Power wish you and the people who mean so much to you a happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving!

And let’s not forget the usual holiday quotes!!

“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.” ~ Edward Sandford Martin

He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.
J.A. Shedd

“Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.”  ~ Author Unknown

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it”  ~ William Arthur Ward

“G-d gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say ‘thank you?”  ~ William A. Ward

“Some people complain because G-d put thorns on roses,
while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.” ~ Anonymous

“We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.” ~ Albert Barnes

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” ~ Estonian Proverb

“You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.” ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

And lastly … “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”  ~ Irv Kupcinet

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert

Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
Click to follow me on:   Twitter Facebook Linkedin
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

09.30.09

Are You Unique?

Posted in Single Parents at 9:15 pm by Administrator

Are you unique or do you conform? We recognize and are taught at a young age that it can be much easier and beneficial to fit in. Nobody picks on you, your parents are happy you’re not getting in trouble, and you don’t stand out as being different.

Parents help mold their kids to fit in and to conform. They tell you, you can’t wear that because it does not look right and you can’t do that because that’s not the way things are done. So we see our kids beginning to conform, not making decisions for themselves but making decisions based on what others think! As a result they do not express their unique talents but rather suppress them to fit in. And so it begins!

If you are doing what it takes to fit in, when can you be yourself and when do you go too far? Do you ever lose sight of who you are in order to be someone who fits in better? Where and when do you draw the line to stop following others in order to belong? Are kids who live this life the ones you read about who got in trouble because they where just following someone else? They are just doing what everyone else is doing!

Adults can also put themselves in embarrassing or bad situations so they can be with the right crowd or they won’t speak up because no one else has (if you are 1st then you stand out – how uncomfortable!). Let’s go to extremes to prove a point. Let’s look at the people form Johannessburg who committed suicide as a group because they where told to or the old lynch mobs who went as a group to hang someone or the mobs who destroyed downtown LA because of a court ruling. What did they all have in common – a leader who started it and followers who needed to belong and needed someone to follow!

What I am saying is it is usually easier to follow the crowd but you can be so much more by going against the norm and being YOU – the genuine you! Thinking for yourself and making your own decisions! Not worrying what the others will think about you but following your core feelings deep in your gut! E.E. Cummings said it well,“The hardest battle in life, is to be nobody but yourself, in a world that is working night and day to make you like everybody else.”

When you lose sight of who you are and the choices you know are right in order to fit in and belong, you then give up on who you are and what you believe in. Is it worth belonging if you have to compromise on your beliefs? Is it worth training your kids to conform if it means hindering who they are? My own best friends, the ones I can always count on, are a result of me being me! As Dr. Suess so profoundly put it, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Some of the greatest discoveries happened because of individuals who did not go with the crowd but against it. Some of the most famous people in history who have contributed to society where laughed at for being different and not conforming.

People who said the world was not flat but round, people who said the planets did not revolve around the Earth but revolved around the sun instead, or light does not have to come from fire but can come from a thing called a bulb. Of course, let’s not forget our forefathers who rebelled against the British, at the risk of death because of their beliefs and willingness to act against the norm!

I am sure you can come up with many more stories but the fact is we move forward as a society because people stay true to themselves and follow their belief in who they are rather then conform and listen to what they are told they should be. The reality is you feel at peace with yourself when you are not putting on a front but when you are being you!

So the following quote is about being unique and going against the crowd to be all you can be, to put your own mark on this world and to make a difference!

“Kites rise highest against the wind – not with it.” ~ Winston Churchill

Have a great weekend and hears to swimming up stream against the current!!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

09.01.09

Do we make misteaks?

Posted in Single Parents at 9:16 am by Administrator

I know – none of us make misteaks, right? Oops, was that a miscue? Mistakes are really ways for us to learn, if we look at it that way. Think of the Apollo mission to the moon – they where off course 98% of the trip and they made it to the moon and even more important – they made it back home.

So that is life – full of opportunities to learn and to get more refined and on target in what we do. How we respond to and the way we perceive these lessons are completely up to us – it is our choice (problem that stops us or lesson that moves us forward).

Thomas Edison tried 1000 times to make a light bulb and when asked how did it feel to fail 1000 times he said, “We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb”. Carl Jung said, “Mistakes are, after all, the foundation of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not”

How often do we as parents find ourselves trying to be perfect and attempting to never make a mistake? Some of us even carry that over to what we expect from our kids. What we tend to over look is that nothing in this entire world is perfect! Try finding two blades of grass that are exactly the same or two trees. Therefore, since we cannot be perfect and yet by trying to be results in our becoming frustrated and stressed.

This is one of the reasons it is so important to have goals so that you learn the lessons provided by each miscue and apply them to make the necessary changes to accommodate the correction in direction, process or action to keep moving forward toward your goal and not get frustrated. The world is designed in this way so that we may learn in order to help us to move in a more direct path of choice toward our goal. After all, how do you think the Scotch Post-It was invented – mistake!

Samuel Smiles said, “We often discover what will do, by discovering what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.”

Have a more directed and corrected week full of mistaks (I mean mistakes)!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Follow me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/RonDilbert
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

08.19.09

Why is it so hard to understand?

Posted in Single Parents at 11:02 am by Administrator

What does it take to understand. Why do we have some problems understanding our kids? The route to understanding is through the use of effective communication and through connection with others. What do I mean by this?

To understand someone, first you have to be able to effectively communicate with them. One good way to do this is through the use of active communication. Active communication, in a nut shell, occurs when the listener places his/her full attention on the speaker and then repeats back what he/she heard to confirm that the speaker and the listener are both on the same page with what was said and what was heard.

The second component to understanding someone, is related to your connection with them. Why is connection so important? Because without it you lose a huge chunk of the opportunity to fully understand! Have you ever been “listening” to someone and find yourself thinking about something “more important”? How does that make you feel in relation to the other person who is speaking? How do you think the speaker feels when they realize you are not really paying attention to them? What do you feel when this happens to you? Do you feel connected?

Instead of connection you get separation! So we now know a great way to help connect us with someone is to give our full attention to the person speaking and use active communication to hear what they are saying, you need to be interested in what they are conveying and you need to then repeat back what you heard to confirm it is what was said and meant. Then the same process occurs when the roles are reversed.

How does this work with our kids? A great place to start is to not only take the time to listen and be interested in what they have to say and share, but to also go to the place they are in now. Read the books they are reading, listen to the music they are listening to, watch the shows they watch and do the things they like to do. This way when the conversations begin you are in their space and can relate on a much higher plain then if you just talk from a disconnected position. I believe we have all been in this place when we try to talk with our kids and they know we don’t get it and so they no longer are interested in talking with us – we just created a disconnect.

Now, because you have taken the time to do what they do, you can ask them questions or discuss their opinions from a place of understanding and yet it does not necessarily have to be in agreement. Disagreement can make for some interesting conversations and a better understanding of each others point of view. Amazing things happen when you get down to your kids levels, do what they like and then be able to talk to them about it. You are showing them that you care about them, you want to understand them and you want to be a part of their world too.

This my friend creates connection and allows your relationship with your kids to go to the next level. What we are talking about does not only apply to your kids but also applies to life in general. When you take the time and interest to connect with any one you will see the difference this makes in that relationship; whether a family member, someone you are dating, married to or someone you work with – getting connected makes a huge difference!

With this in mind here is our Quote of the Week:

“Understanding is a two-way street.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

So this week our challenge to you is to take your relationship to the next level with your kids and start doing the things they do and see how your relationship blossoms.
If you are already doing this, that is fantastic! Think on what you can do to take it to another level?

Please forward this to anyone who can benefit from what we are sharing and we would love to get your feedback on how this has changed your relationships by email at info@SingeParentPower.com!

Have a wonderful week and stay connected!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Follow me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/RonDilbert
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
479-935-3986 – Arkansas Office
516-355-1552 – New York Office

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

07.03.09

Fourth of July

Posted in Single Parents at 7:47 pm by Administrator

Tomorrow is the 4th of July – Independence Day for Americans and a great time for reflection. Whether you agree with the conflicts we are currently engaged in or not, we have our soldiers fighting there. These are men and women who volunteered to defend our country and to fight for what this country was built on – freedoms. These are our men and women, our sons and daughters; they are husbands and wives, and mothers and fathers.

Our soldiers are leaving behind families to serve and to protect us. They risk their lives every day for a war that they did not decide upon. These are the true heroes of our time. These are the continuing line of soldiers who give everything, including their lives, for this country and for us. These are the soldiers who leave behind their loved ones even with the uncertainty of when, and if, they will return. Then upon their return must be able to leave behind what they experienced and saw in combat so they are able to make that adjustment back to being a husband, wife, and parent. Our men and women now have the highest suicide rates because of what is being asked of them not to mention all the challenges they face when returning from combat.

So what I would ask every one of you to do this 4th of July is to think not of the politics of war but of the men, women and families of the military and what they are sacrificing for us. To take a moment and really think of all the veterans and what sacrifices have been made over the years.

Next time you are walking down the street or at the airport and you see a veteran, take that moment to thank them for all that they do for us. See what a difference that makes for them.

Have a great, safe 4th of July and let’s remember why we are celebrating. It is not about the fireworks, the BBQs and the gatherings. It is about remembering why we have the most freedoms of any country in the world and what sacrifices were made to achieve and retain them! Remember the veterans who came back with missing limbs, mental challenges and sometimes in a coffin – leaving their families behind to go on alone! This holiday let’s go back to the basics and remember why we celebrate this holiday and let’s support our GIs!

In keeping with SPP tradition, here are some quotes for the holiday:

“Freedom is never dear at any price. It is the breath of life. What would a man not pay for living?” ~ Gandhi

“All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope”. ~Winston Churchill

“Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all! By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall.” -John Dickinson

One flag, one land, one heart, one hand, One Nation evermore! -Oliver Wendell Holmes
“We stand for freedom. That is our conviction for ourselves; that is our only commitment to others. ” ~ John F Kennedy

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul” ~ Moshe Dayan

“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Follow me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/RonDilbert
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
479-935-3986 – Arkansas Office
516-355-1552 – New York Office

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

06.21.09

Why do we celebrate Father’s Day?

Posted in Single Parents at 7:49 pm by Administrator

Happy Father’s Day to you for being the best Dad (and for the Mom’s who have to also be a Dad)!

Father’s Day is great time to reflect on what a Father is and how you affect your kids. It is a time to reflect on all the great gifts you do have in your life. Father’s Day is a time to watch your kids and see you in them and also see them for the unique individual they are. It is the time to enjoy the adults you are molding and to enjoy the changes that are taking place.

Here are some quotes that inspired me and helped me to be the best Dad I could. May they inspire you too to continue be the Dad you are meant to be!

• “Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.” ~ Unknown

• “He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” ~Clarence Budington Kelland

• “Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.”
– Ruth E. Renkel

• “A man’s children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season”. — Unknown

• “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth

“One night a father heard his son pray: Dear G-d, make me the kind of man my daddy is. Later that night, the father prayed: Dear Lord make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.” – Anonymous

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

We at Single Parent Power want to wish you a very happy Father’s Day. We trust you will create a very special day and hope our little contribution will help add to that!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Follow me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/RonDilbert
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
479-935-3986 – Arkansas Office
516-355-1552 – New York Office

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

05.13.09

Is this hard times or opportunity times?

Posted in Single Parents at 12:01 am by Administrator

I know plenty of people are being challenged in all aspects of life in this time of “scarcity”. I know I am! All the papers, magazines, news broadcasts on radio and TV are all continuously telling us about how bad things are!

Every where we look we are reminded how bad things are. We hear about GM filing bankruptcy, Chrysler being sold to Fiat, AIG having problems again and it goes on and on! We all know someone who has lost a job or is worried about losing it, people who have lost retirement savings in the market and again it goes on and on.

So why am I talking about what we already know to ad nauseam? Because we can be led by the media into self sabotage. What do I mean you ask? How do we feel after we hear about the major problems in our economy and how record number of people are being foreclosed on, filing bankruptcy, etc. We file like crap! Why? Because we are being inundated with negatives that drag us down. Then we start buying into it and the cycle perpetuates.

Yet, there are people succeeding and doing well in this economy! But how can that be? Could it be that they are just lucky? In the right place at the right time? It just fell in their laps? Or could it be that in this time of the “sky is falling” they saw and grabbed onto opportunities that still exist? Could it be that they did not buy into the news but instead looked for these opportunities and created their own reality?

Is this not an opportunity to erase all the selfishness and greed that has brought us to this place by replacing it with a desire to contribute and help each other? Does a tidal wave not start as a small wave that builds to large proportions? Does it not feed on the momentum of all the smaller waves? Hasn’t change occurred because of a small group of people initiated it?

So let’s start that movement to the place of unity instead of separation. Let’s work together to help each other get back on our feet and to right this country! Let’s no longer allow the greedy and self centered few to destroy our lives and the lives of the people we care about!

What would happen if we stopped listening to the media and started creating our own realities. What would happen if we started helping each other? What would happen if we decided that this is an opportunity to walk the path we where destined to?

Let’s move toward action and success. Let’s watch the changes occur as we create rather then destroy! Let’s create our own reality that helps us and others at the same time! Let’s learn from others mistakes and make great choices versus self centered, greed choices. Let’s create the reality we wish. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Have a great day and go create!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

04.07.09

What is communication?

Posted in Single Parents at 2:13 pm by Administrator

What is communication and why is it so important? Well then – let me ask what is the number one reason given for people getting divorced? “They” say that it is money. That is a half truth. I strongly feel that it is the lack of communication with regard to money that causes the problems and ultimately the divorce.

I say it is the couple struggling financially when the wife goes out and buys another pocketbook without talking with her husband or the husband who buys more golf clubs without talking with his wife. You rationalization that it is OK because it was a huge sale, however your partner is saying you don’t need yet another pocketbook or golf club and you’re spending our money without talking about it.

We can all picture what happens next – right? It really does not matter who starts the ensuing argument and fight that follows. We have all seen, heard of or have been a part of one of these lack of communication fights. Why do they happen? They happen because the mentality is the same as if each were single. I make this money so I can buy this or I work hard so why shouldn’t I get this. we will discuss the money side of relationships in an upcoming blog.

The ensuing problem arrives because you are NOT single (but may very well be sooner then later if you keep this behavior up!). I believe if you are divorced you can relate to this to one degree or another and learn from it for the future. This goes for people in any serious relationship.

A relationship is based on trust and communication. Trust being that you respect and think of the other person or persons involved (spouse, children, partner, etc.) and will not do something that hurts them. Communication being that you are able to discuss anything openly and being comfortable confiding in the other. It is important to work on getting to a point where both of you can discuss anything without getting angry or judging what is being said. This means not just being able to say what you need to say but actually being in a conversation where you are also listening and being active about it.

So that leads us into what is active communication? It is NOT doing what most people believe communication is – saying what you have to say and then listening to the other person until a point is made that you want to reply to or have a thought about it. At this point you start putting together your thoughts and have just tuned out the other person and the rest of what they had to say. Some times we even assume that we know what they are going to say and interrupt them to “save time”. How many of you have even done that, or better yet have had that done to you? How does that make you feel? Yet we do it all the time – in our relationships, with our children, with friends.

Why is it so hard to just listen and let the other person say what is on there mind? To put it simply – we live in a world of instant gratification and do not want to wait but need to form our thoughts NOW! The problem: The mind is made to do one thing at a time (especially if you are a guy because that is our wiring), even though sometimes we feel like we are doing 30 things at once. So when we click into think mode then we click out of listen mode. Go ahead and think back to when this happened to you.

What about our kids? Everyone talks about how important communication is to keep kids out of trouble. And we do train our kids well. For instance, when we ask our kids why they did something and interrupt them because we think we know what they are going to say or because we are angry and don’t want to wait for them to finish.

So we are training them – training them to NOT speak with us. Why should they, if when they do we cut them off and make them feel like we are not really listening or we get angry. At a recent workshop I gave for Single Parents and teens I asked the parents how many thought that they where having effective communications with their teens. Do you know the result? All of them! This is pretty much what I get when that question is asked. Then I asked the teens how many feel that their parents take the time and actually hear them when they talk. What do you think that result was? You got it – all of them! Do you see any disparity here?

So how do we fix this canyon of separation? It is simple but not easy. Simple that you have to practice, like creating any other habit. It takes patience and remembering that you didn’t learn to drive a car in one day and now you hopefully are a good driver (otherwise let me know when you are on the road s I can get off). You have been using your communication, or lack thereof, for all these years so it takes time and it takes being conscious and present when communicating.

What I mean is you stay focused on what you are doing in that moment. If you are speaking then focus on what you are saying and think how it will land with the person you are talking with so you can present it the way you want and have it received the way you want. If you are listening then do not start thinking of your response but rather focus intensely on hearing every thing that persons says. That shows you are interested and respect what that person is saying.

You will find that you will better comprehend what the other person is saying and they of you. You will begin to notice that people will want to speak with you and each of you will be better understood. You will also find those miscommunications that seem to happen so often will now be very infrequent.

This is a big step forward. There are other tools that we will talk about at another time. This will give you time to get proficient at this so that the other things are more effective.

So really if there was meaningful, effective and mutual communication then as a couple or a family you can work on this and other challenges.

May this help reconnect and bring you closer to the people in your life!

So go out and start using this and I look forward to your comments on how this works for you!

With Love, Peace and Power,

Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
Follow me on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/RonDilbert
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

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